This weight is getting out of control crazy. I'm going to try the Fast Diet again and give it a real go this time. I've got to be a little more prepared too. I think that was part of the problem. And the fact that I'm always making excuses. I'm not sure if I'm ready but I have to do something. I need the scales to get on the downward slide. My clothes aren't fitting and I really don't have the money to buy new ones. I was blog stalking the other day on a quilting blog and the lady said that she gets up early to quilt and to exercise every day. She's not a morning person so it's difficult for her to do but she does it knowing that she will feel better after having done those 2 things. Well I already get up quite early but if I can just push it up 20 more minutes I think I can get on the treadmill and just do it. 4:30 sounds really early but I just won't do it otherwise. And if I can do it for 21 days then it will be a habit right? Same with the diet. I was initially thinking to make really really small attainable goals like 5 pounds at a time. So as of this morning I was 236. Really not happy about that since after I had the baby I was 209. I can't believe that in 11 months I've gained 27 pounds. That's horrible. So my first small goal is 6 pounds. I want to get to 230. Then I'll just do 5 pounds at a time. That way it doesn't feel like a horrible amount. More than anything I think I just want to turn the tide of the upswing into a downswing. I feel horrible about myself and I need to change that. It's really hard to do it alone too. I wish Jared was motivated to do it with me but sadly he isn't. I even wish Erik was motivated to do it too. He's way, way, way overweight. Ok, enough writing. Time to get my plan together.