Ok. I'm trying to upload pictures. Let's see if this actually works. These are Elise's Kindergarten pics. She's such a doll :)

Quilt blog and stuff

Last time I tried to post it was near impossible. But it worked out and here I am again. This time it's all about quilting (I know, I know, it hasn't been for a while!). Well I've been blog stalking once again and I love looking at quilting blogs. I really, really want to start my own. I would love for that to be my new profession seeing as the ones I have now I'm not really liking at the moment. Oh well. Guess when I win the lotto my fantasy will come true. Honestly I just don't have time for sewing these days and since I don't have a dedicated space it's really hard to say I'll just sew for 15 minutes a day. Sigh. Well if I did have a quilting blog what should I name it? Hmmm. Gotta get thinking of that. Maybe if I think of a name I can create it and get it moving. Maybe it should be something like "Wishing I had more time for quilting". Nah, too long. Need something fun and short. I'll keep thinking. Any suggestions post it here. I'd also need to find a new blogspot. I mean I like blogspot, but there's too many issues with posting pics. Guess I'll have to do some research if I finally buckle down and get serious. By the way, dropped 4 pounds already :) Hehe, just had to slip that in.

What a difference a day makes!

As you all know I've struggled with weight forever and a day. A few months ago I tried really hard to do the calorie counting thing. I even had Lindsey on my side to help with the accountability. I saw results at the beginning but then it just started going the wrong way. Basically since I stopped breastfeeding I've gained 30 pounds, something I'm uncredibly unhappy about. I was racking my brain trying to think of the best thing to do to get my body back. I went on youtube the other morning and watched a lady talking about her vertical sleeve gastrectomy, the same weight loss surgery I had nearly 3 years ago. She said that over the course of a few weeks she wasn't eating like she should and gained 10 pounds. Then in one weekend she started to eat the way she knew she should, getting all her proteins in, and lost 7 pounds. Well that got me thinking about what I did after I had surgery. I basically was eating all protein, very little carbs. So I started looking into Atkins. Now I know what you all are thinking, this lady has been on the diet roller coaster, not one more thing. I talked to my co-worker and my brother who have both done it and been very successful when they were doing it. So I asked them about it and they both agreed it was very good for them. My co-worker had originally lost 96 pounds in one year doing it and then stopped and gained most of that back. She said she was willing to go on it with me again and help me. My brother's advice was be well prepared and don't cheat. Easier said than done of course. So yesterday morning I decided to try it out. I knew I was a sugar and carb addict. I knew I needed to give that stuff up but I just couldn't. It really is my drug of choice. Yesterday I weighed in at 252 (not happy writing that number!). I ate probably 25 carbs total yesterday, compared to my usual daily intake of at least 250 (according to my numbers on My Fitness Pal). I didn't realize really how much I had been consuming. Yesterday though was amamzing. Normally I'm really sleepy during the day and this whole time I thought it was because I don't get enough good, quality sleep. WRONG! I'm sleepy because I was eating carbs all day long. I ate protein for breakfast and for a snack and was wide awake. The worst for me is mid morning and after lunch. Well I wasn't sleepy at all and I didn't feel sluggish and I wasn't starving either. I was full and satiated. And the funny thing was that I typically crave sweets in the afternoon and yesterday I didn't. Well I was anxious to find out how I did on the scale so this morning I weighed in at 249.5. What the heck!?!?! How is that possible! I haven't lost in months :) And I'm feeling incredibly better. I'm amazed at what a difference a day makes. And I really feel like this is going to be a lifestyle change for me. Proteins and veggies are so much better for me than sugars and carbs.

Turning it around

Thanks to my friend Lindsey for finally getting my big butt moving in the right direction. We started logging on My Fitness Pal 2 weeks ago and when I first weighed I was up to the whopping weight of 240 and really getting depressed about it (read previous posts). This morning, not even 2 weeks in I'm down to 234! I'm so happy the scales have finally dropped and I really haven't done all that much differently. I'm so happy to see that they are finally moving in the right direction. Now I've just got to keep the momentum going. The thing about logging is that it really makes you think twice about eating something you know you shouldn't. But I haven't deprived myself all that much. I'm just trying to eat better, more fruits and veggies, drink more water and get a little bit of exercise in. At first I wanted to start jogging, but that wasn't happening so I just decided to briskly walk 15-30 minutes a day. My legs hurt really bad at the beginning but now they are used to it. I need to be more consistent about it but hey it's a start right! And I have to say that I love MFP. The bar code scanning thingy is so awesome. Just point, shoot and log. That's it! And they have almost every food known to man on that thing so it's really easy to find what you are looking for. Anyway, just wanted to write that I'm in a much better mood this morning (minus the pink eyes! UGH) to see the scales dropping and so happy for the encouragement!!

Need to do something....

This weight is getting out of control crazy. I'm going to try the Fast Diet again and give it a real go this time. I've got to be a little more prepared too. I think that was part of the problem. And the fact that I'm always making excuses. I'm not sure if I'm ready but I have to do something. I need the scales to get on the downward slide. My clothes aren't fitting and I really don't have the money to buy new ones. I was blog stalking the other day on a quilting blog and the lady said that she gets up early to quilt and to exercise every day. She's not a morning person so it's difficult for her to do but she does it knowing that she will feel better after having done those 2 things. Well I already get up quite early but if I can just push it up 20 more minutes I think I can get on the treadmill and just do it. 4:30 sounds really early but I just won't do it otherwise. And if I can do it for 21 days then it will be a habit right? Same with the diet. I was initially thinking to make really really small attainable goals like 5 pounds at a time. So as of this morning I was 236. Really not happy about that since after I had the baby I was 209. I can't believe that in 11 months I've gained 27 pounds. That's horrible. So my first small goal is 6 pounds. I want to get to 230. Then I'll just do 5 pounds at a time. That way it doesn't feel like a horrible amount. More than anything I think I just want to turn the tide of the upswing into a downswing. I feel horrible about myself and I need to change that. It's really hard to do it alone too. I wish Jared was motivated to do it with me but sadly he isn't. I even wish Erik was motivated to do it too. He's way, way, way overweight. Ok, enough writing. Time to get my plan together.

Dishwasher disaster

One week ago we switched out the old dishwasher for a new one. The old one wasn't draining and it was just plain worn out. So my dad decided to buy us a new one. Jared installed it and it seemed to work fine at first. Then the water wasn't draining. So he unhooked pipes and began trying to figure out what was wrong. We had told the landlord about it earlier but he said his plumber was out of town until Saturday. Well we couldn't wait that long and Jared had an itch to do some plumbing. He found a mess in the air gap, he switched out the pipes under the sink and then the real trouble began. It wasn't draining and worse yet it was leaking. So a friend came over to help him. They discovered there was a block in the main pipe. They shot water down it from the roof and with the "help" of Elise turning on the hose the kitchen was flooded. Oh the joys of home ownership, but wait, we aren't the owners! So after the water was shut off they worked for hours more and got water moving through the pipes. We thought we were finally out of the woods. We ran the dishwasher that night and I happily cleaned and mopped the kitchen. Then I walked in from work on Monday afternoon and my dad said it still wasn't working. Nothing was clean and soap was still in the dispenser. I wanted to pull my hair out. Jared's friend came again and they worked until midnight finally figuring out the hot water line was clogged. I threatened to call the landlord in the morning and get it fixed that day! But Jared got off work early yesterday, put in a new line and viola! it finally worked. I ran the dishwasher last night, checking it over and over. The water was there, the soap dispensed and when I woke up today they were clean and sparkly with no leak or clogs anywhere. I think the dishwashing gods have finally smiled down upon us.

Now to the gate.... On Saturday (while in the midst of all the plumbing issues) Jared changed my brakes. When he was done he forgot to check them. We left to go pick up Erik from SAT's and run a few errands. Now normally I open the front iron gate for Jared so he doesn't have to get out. And usually we say a prayer before we go. Neither one of those happened at that moment. So when we started driving the brakes weren't lubricated yet and he was pumping like crazy with no braking going on. We crashed into the gate and it flew into the street. Thankfully(!!!) no one was driving right then, or walking their kids or dogs and we were able to stop. The neighbors were like what happened?!?! We bent the fence pretty good and will probably have to pound it out and do some welding but I think it will eventually be ok. My car has a few more scratches but Jared bought a buffer to buff them out.

Needless to say it was quite the crazy week. I'm so tired and am in desperate need of a vacation, but alas we are broke and can't afford to go anywhere relaxing except for in our minds. I'm hoping to buy a lotto ticket for Mother's Day and win the big one! Here's to wishing :)

Scales down, finally

So I found a new diet called The Fast Diet and decided to read the book and give it a try. The premise is basically that we were once cavemen and ate like feast and famine and that our bodies need a break from the constant eating. Seemed reasonable enough to me. The claim is that it's better for your cells and organs to not be working all the time digesting food. They suggest that you eat 5 days normally, not counting calories or fat and such and then fast 2 days a week, not consecutively. The idea is that your body gets a break and is able to repair the damage done to it thus making you healthier and live longer. And they said a great side effect is weight loss. So I decided to give it a go yesterday. I ate Monday night around 9pm and then didn't eat all day Tuesday until about 3:30pm and then it was only celery and half an apple on the way home. Then for dinner my dad made beef stew and I had a biscuit. I cheated and had 3 cookies and few graham crackers. But then at 7 I made a deal with Elise that neither of us would eat anything after that. I felt good most of the day with only a slight headache and a little lightheaded probably from not drinking enough water. This morning I weighed and I was down 2 pounds!! Finally the scale is working the other way. I know it's probably water weight, but I'll take a down turn any day over the upswing.

So I'm going to eat normally today, already I've eaten what feels like a lot. Then tomorrow another fast and then my work weigh in on Friday. I know I'm up since the last weigh in but hopefully it will only be by a pound or two. I'll have to tell them in my defense that I've stopped breastfeeding since the last weigh in so for me to only gain a few pounds is a miracle (last time was like 20 pounds!). Well here's hoping for some good results with this. From what I can read about it most people drop slow and steady, which I like. It seems like it's not too difficult because on your regular eat days you can eat what you want and not have to worry about it, barring going overboard.

In other news I've put in all the applications I can for Kindergarten lottery. Here's hoping Elise will get into one of them! I should find out in the next few weeks if she's in or not. Oh and in other news I went to have my IUD put in but it didn't work. My cervix was closed too tight. So I have to take ceradil next week and we'll try again. If it doesn't work we'll have to try in a few weeks when I have my period and then if that doesn't work I'm scheduling surgery. 3 times is a sign. Oh the joys of mortality!

My venting place

I guess this is now my place to vent. I really should be posting happy pictures of my kids and family. Sadly I'm not that happy. My kids drive me bananas. The oldest is the epitome of procrastination. He had 10 days off school (counting weekends). I asked him last night if all his homework was done so he would be prepared for school today and his answer was not yet. I'm like really? I guess in his defense he did clean up some of his room. But seriously? You can't finish your homework in 10 days off school. Then I got a call from him this morning as I was driving to daycare asking to bring his book which he forgot. I refused. Sorry, harsh realities of life. You don't prepare your stuff the night before I ain't fixing it for you. Then the 4 year old is living up to her age. She didn't get to sleep last night until 10pm which is the norm because the daycare refuses to follow my direction about naps. I know she's a handful but she needs to be nap free in a few months for kindergarten. I'm going to really put my foot down by her birthday. So this makes for a very long night for all of us. The baby is fine except when it comes to about 2 in the morning and all of the sudden she's crying. I'm not understanding it at all. We feed her right before bed so why the constant waking up? She's 8 months and should be able to sleep through the night. The funny thing is that from about 2 until 4:40 in the morning I'm up with her constantly. Yet as soon as I get out of the shower and start getting ready for work both she and the 4 year old are fast asleep and it takes me forever to wake them.

Then this morning I get to work finally and find out that one the Project Managers hasn't followed policy for something and it just really makes me look bad. The training for this was months ago and should already be in place. Ugh.

What's the date today? Oh yeah, pms is in full swing, no wonder the annoyance at everyone and everything today. I need a t-shirt made as a warning. Ok, venting over for the moment but I can't guarantee it for very long.

Yesterday

Yesterday started out terrible and it just went downhill from there. I don't know what the heck was wrong with me. Luckily I had plenty of work to do at work so that was nice but I was just bummed out all day. My OB/GYN called me with all the test results. I was tested a few weeks ago because I'm having super duper heavy periods and it's driving me nuts. So she tested my uterus and nothing wrong there and did some blood work and nothing wrong there and did an ultrasound to check out my fibroids. She said they are fairly small, the biggest is less than 1 inch, which is good news considering they were gigantic when I was pregnant. My options now are only 2, an IUD or partial hysterectomy. After I heard all that and talked to the doc about pros and cons I just sat in my car and cried. I think more from just exhaustion and stress than anything else. I asked her about my mom dying from uterine cancer and she said that because all the tests came back ok that she wasn't too concerned. She said that the IUD would actually help prevent it so that's a plus. I just keep hearing all these terrible things about it. Hormones and me are not good friends so I'm not really excited about that but she said the IUD is local hormones and won't affect me like a regular birth control pill would. I talked with Jared last night about it. I'm leaning to the IUD right now and see how it goes and if it goes badly in a few months then I'll just have the surgery. 

So with all of that going on I ate terrible yesterday, but I did manage to get a workout on the treadmill in and ran for 22 minutes without stopping :) I need to keep that going. I really enjoy it and feel much better when it's over and done. I found a few good songs too so that's motivating and heard a few on the radio driving to work that I think my amp up the running to a quick pace. 

This morning I'm having a protein shake so hopefully I can keep eating good stuff today. I'll be glad when Easter is over, then there's really no more candy holidays until Halloween :) 

New day/New outlook

Well after the rant of yesterday I'm feeling much better. I am in last place with the competition, but I'm just going to keep trying. We still have 2 months and most of the losers so far can't keep dropping weight like they are for much longer. Slow and steady right? I'm going to be really good about watching what I eat and if I want a treat I'll keep it very small. I'm also going to walk every day at work, 2 times a day. I have a great route going, I just got new headphones and I need to update my walking playlist to include some good, fast songs. And since Jared doesn't have school the rest of this week I can get on the treadmill and do some running. I did it for 30 minutes on Saturday (walked for 5, then ran without stopping for 20, then cool down for 5). Gotta do that every night this week. The scale has got to move down somewhat right? Just going to take it one day at a time. And thanks Lindsey for the encouragement! Maybe I need to post everyday what I'm eating and be accountable for it. Hmm. That's a idea. Well then let's start with now!

So far today I've eaten (or will eat shortly):
small bowl of cinnamon chex with milk (gonna stop that habit tomorrow)
clementine
string cheese
protein shake
plain old celery
lean cuisine
1 bottle water so far (gotta get more of those in)

Ok, commence new day and new outlook on this!

Discouraged

I'm feeling like poop right now and don't really want to post on FB. And since I know pretty much no one reads this it's the perfect place. I'm so discouraged. At work I signed up for a weight loss competition. It was expensive to enter. I figured it really wouldn't be that hard. And I thought it was the perfect motivation for me  to continue my weight loss journey now that having babies is in the past. Well it's been a month (tomorrow is the weigh in) and I'm pretty much down only 3 pounds. I hate that I have zero will power and can't even stick to a 3 day diet for 3 days. I've been doing shakes but that isn't working anymore. I feel like I should just give up and say to hell with it all and get fat again and not worry about it anymore. You know when people say that want to live to 100 or whatever? Well I don't feel that way at all. I mean I want to be around for my kids and maybe one day grandkids but I'm really ready for the next life. This one is just really hard and I don't like it most of the time. Why can't I control what goes into my mouth? Why does it have to be such a struggle? I see skinny people and they are eating whatever they want. Or I see fat people and they diet and lose weight. I just don't get it. I know some of this is coming from sleep deprivation. I haven't had a full night's sleep in close to a year. So maybe that's why I can't get this weight off. I'm tired at work so to stay awake I eat. I don't know, just needed to get this out of my head. Maybe should have just posted on LJ instead.

New year, new goals

I know it's almost March and I'm terrible about blogging, but I'm going to lose this weight if it kills me. I was challenged at work with a bunch of my co-workers and there is money involved so I'm going for it. Everyone has to put in $300 and there are 15 of us. First place would get $2,250, 2nd place gets $1,350 and 3rd place gets $900. I'm hoping for at least one of those spots. I know I can do it. I just needed some motivation to get moving. So I weighed in at 222. I gained 13 since my lowest of 209 and I don't want to creep up anymore. I'm going to be doing shakes for 2 meals a day like when I first had surgery. I have lots of healthy snacks at my desk now too. I'm hoping to get down to 199 and finally be in the 100's again. I also started on the treadmill last night again. It's been a really long time since I've worked out. I need to do it. So I walked/jogged for 26 minutes and 1.5 miles. I need to sign up for another 5K to motivate me. I'm excited about this. I need to get this weight off and I'm ready to get it going.

In other news Jared got hired full time (salaried) for the place he's been working at for a while now. I'm happy about that. But his car needs to be fixed now since he had a fenderbender a few months ago. Here's hoping it can be fixed and not totaled by the insurance company.

Kids are good. Growing up fast. I'm ready for Kindergarten to start. Elise stays up way too late from the nap she gets at preschool. Now it's just a matter of finding one, which is a huge pain. Erik needs to get going on his eagle project and all the test for SAT and ACT. I can't believe next year he will be a senior and graduating. The time really did go by fast.

Quilts are getting done too. I finished one for Lindsey's baby shower this past weekend. I have another one to do before the end of March for Barbara's sister. Then after that I need to use up all my stash before buying anything else. I have a really cute one in the works that I want to finish. Plus I have one from my virtual bee last year that I need to put together. It's a Christmas quilt so I need to get that done before the end of the year.

I'm anxiously waiting for the summer and fall. Jared will be done with his credential class in August and then Elise will be in Kindergarten. Erik starts senior year. Katie will hopefully be sleeping all through the night. No flu or cold season in the summer (because I'm so sick of everyone being sick). Oh and I'll hopefully be done pumping in a few month :) Oh so many things to look forward too. Plus I'll hopefully be down 25 pounds or so by then :) Yay! Looks like 2013 is going to be a great year :)